This article was an interesting read as it brought up many notions which are normalized throughout our society which we think are good encouragement for kids, but they have the opposite effect.
First, I thought that it was interesting how saying “good job” can be manipulative. It is a judgement of what we think, and we say it because we are happy. As much as we think that we are saying it because we are proud of the kids, it is still for our convenience. We give kids treats and other tangible treats to be of convenience to us. We should not exploit kids with praise because in the long run, they will always expect it for the smallest of tasks, which is not a healthy outlook. The only issue that can arise from this is that some kids really have low self- esteem, and they need that occasional praise to feel like they belong. Of course, if this is exploited, they will be too dependent on it, so the main factor is balance.
Second, I found interesting how praise can make kids uncertain about their opinions. If we keep praising kids, they will always rely on our approval. If the adult disagrees, so does the child. Praise unconsciously makes kids less secure, and it also builds unnecessary pressure to do better, which is not healthy. This is important because we want kids to be critical thinkers by their own accord, not wait for approval from others. A problem that can arise from this is that, if praise is never given, kids may not see the worth in learning the activity in question. Occasional praise should be given but instead of saying things like “good job”, we should ask more questions on how they figured out the solution to a certain problem. This will keep them motivated to learn but still also make them critical thinkers.
Lastly, I found interesting how praise can make kids lose interest. They will only do the activity while someone who praises them is observing them as this can lead to more praise for the child. But once the person to give them praise is not present; kids won’t be motivated to continue. Praise motivates kids to fish for more praise, in hindsight. Personally, I think of praise as cat treats. The more I give them to my cat, the more she does not care about them. I was constantly praised a child and teen for the smallest things and for playing my instrument very well throughout middle school. It led me to believe I was better than others, and I became pretentious and stopped practicing as much. However, as I entered high school, I learned that there was a whole another world beyond what I had imagined, and I have tried being humble in anything I did ever since. There are two sides of the coin to this argument. Many kids, once they receive praise, think they are better than others and lose motivation to continue, but there are also others who become more motivated with a little praise. Again, it comes back to the idea of balance. Kids should never want someone to be proud of them, because they should feel proud of themselves. l